Pineapple Upsidedown Cake
by RosarioN
Summary: Shelagh was never going to win any prizes for cooking.


**A/N: not sure what this is! It's a bit random, I just had this scene floating around in my head.**

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><p>After everything that she had dealt with during the last turbulent 2 years of her life, no one would ever have believed that it would be a Pineapple Upside Down Cake of all things, that would cause the former Sister Bernadette and the new Mrs Shelagh Turner to finally breakdown and cry.<p>

It had all begun, with another one of the Reverend Tom Herewoods 'good ideas'. Missing the idyllic village upbringing of his youth, he had announced excitedly over dinner one evening at Nonnatus house that he had decided to organise a village fête. "We can have a cricket tournament, a tombola, a childrens sack race, a best cake competition – something for everyone!" He said.

"But where would we hold such a thing? We don't have our own village green." Sister Julienne had asked, ignoring Sister Evangelina's mumblings about knowing a few people who could volunteer for the role of village idiot.

"We can use a corner of Victoria Park" Tom had enthused "I was thinking 2 weeks on Saturday. Nurse Mount can organise the Tombola, I'm sure Doctor Turner and PC Noakes can arrange the cricket match, perhaps the cubs could get on board with the races?"

"I think it is a splendid Idea, I am willing to put myself forward to judge the best cake competition" Sister Monica Joan added.

"That's the spirit!" Tom grinned, "You'll certainly participate, won't you Mrs Turner?"

"I'm sorry?" Shelagh, had zoned out temporarily, Angela was teething, which meant that no one in the Turner household was sleeping a great deal.

"Participating – in the best cake competition!"

"Erm, well, I…"

"Come on, Mrs Turner, you're the Doctors Wife, a pillar of the community – people follow your lead!"

Shelagh's poor sleep addled brain was too tired to compute the details.

"Well, perhaps not quite such a pivotal role as in smaller rural communities" Sister Julienne began, sensing Shelagh's unease.

"No, but an important person nevertheless" Tom chivvied "So you'll enter?"

"I guess so" Shelagh said, a tight smile gracing her lips, her weary mind adding it to her mental to do list.

"Great, can I put you down for a Pineapple Upside Down Cake?"

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><p>"Darling, you don't have to do this?" Patrick through the kitchen hatch later that night. It was a pointless, his wife had that determined look on her face, that meant whatever he said would have little effect on her.<p>

The problem was baking was Shelagh's nemesis. She really hated the fact that society assumed that just because she was a woman, she ought to be able to cook. True, she'd studied home economics at school, as everyone did. She could put together basic meals, and had managed to feed herself and her father for a good few years, but she was certainly not a natural.

Then of course she'd entered the convent and not had to worry about any of that, and whatever basic culinary skill's she'd had had gone rusty. When of course she'd left and announced her engagement to Patrick, everyone had made assumptions. Patrick had assumed he could get rid of the housekeeper, after all, Shelagh would be taking over the cooking. Tim had assumed there would be a return to the yummy cakes and delicious deserts he had enjoyed before his mummy became ill.

They soon discovered that though the house had never been cleaner, and their shirts had never been whiter, there would be no return to the glory days of fruitcakes and almond sponges. Pudding in the Turner household, (after a series of failed experimental baking on Shelagh's part) Tim learnt, was a rotation between Jam Tarts, Jelly, tinned fruit and evaporated milk, and the occasional crumble. Mrs B, did provide them with apple tarts or lemon drizzle cake on clinic days to tide them over.

It wasn't just the Turner men who equated the X chromosome with an innate ability to bake a cake. At the receiving end of unsolicited advice from all and sundry in the run up to her wedding, it was all to do with 'marital relations' and nothing to do with how to get a Victoria Sponge to be light and fluffy. After all, as Shelagh once over heard one of the mothers in the clinic say loudly of another woman they knew "You don't have to be a genius to know how to open your legs".

"No, Patrick, apparently, I would be letting the community down by not entering" Shelagh said, scouring the cook book Mrs B had lent her.

"Can't you enter a singing competition instead?" Tim asked, "You're loads better at singing than cooking."

Patrick gave him a look.

Ignoring the pair of them, Shelagh had a determined look on her face. "I've got 2 weeks to practise – that should be fine. I will not let this get the better of me."

* * *

><p>The day of the Poplar village fete dawned bright and sunny. Tom and the nurses were up early helping to shift deckchairs into the a park, and to mark out a cricket pitch.<p>

Shelagh woke-up less than refreshed. She'd been up late working on her cake. She'd burnt her first 2 attempts, and Patrick had found her crying into a bowl of flour at midnight when he returned from a night call. Despite the lateness of the hour she had refused to go to bed, and had finally produced a passable number at around 1 am. Her thoughts of having a few interrupted hours of sleep were dashed when Angela awoke a little after 2, and had then been up and down until 6am with a crying baby, putting ice on her little gums.

By the time she and the rest of the family arrived at the park, she was ready to drop, and it was only 11am. Tim was in charge of delivering her cake to the cake table, while Patrick went off to sort out the cricket whites.

"Sit" Sister Evangelina barked, the second she laid eyes on a weary Shelagh, with Angela clinging to her front. She took Angela from her, and directed her friend to one of the vacant deck chairs set aside for the nuns and nurses. "Get some rest" she ordered.

Sister Julienne appeared. "Here" Sister Evangelina handed Angela over to Sister Julienne "You look after young Miss Turner and her mother, I'm going to fetch Sister Mary Clarence from the bus stop."

Angela, who'd been teary and crotchety until that point, grabbed at the folds of Sister Julienne's habit, wrapping the long folds of fabric around her tiny wrists like a security blanket, smiling up at Sister Julienne. Sister Julienne in turn, couldn't help but grin at her quasi-granddaughter.

"Have you been keeping Mummy awake at all hours have you?" By way of response, Angela simply laid her head on Sister Julienne's shoulder. Glancing over at Shelagh, the nun saw that she was already fast asleep in her chair.

Gently stroking Angela's back, Sister Julienne estimated it wouldn't be too long before Angela drifted off to sleep too. Perfect, well, it would be perfect, if Sister Mary Clarence wasn't soon to be arriving.

Sister Mary Clarence was based at the Mother House in Chichester. However, if ever Nonnatus house requested help, it was always Sister Mary Clarence that was dispatched to Poplar. Sister Mary Clarence was loud, argumentative and a know-it all, and Sister Julienne suspected that Sister Jesu Emmanuelle always sent her to Poplar to give those at the Mother House a small respite.

20 minutes later, an already peeved looking Sister Evangelina appeared with Sister Mary Clarence in tow.

"Why don't you take a seat here Sister and rest after your journey" Sister Evangelina said, indicating the row of deck chairs.

"Hello Sisters" Sister Mary Clarence greeted Sister Julienne, and Sister Monica Joan with a nod "and who might you be?" She asked of Patsy, who had ambled over with some refreshments for the nuns.

"Patsy Mount" Patsy replied, "Would you like a tea?"

"Yes please, and who is this?" The nun indicated the sleeping Shelagh.

"Mrs Turner, the Doctors wife" Patsy replied, before Sister Julienne could say anything.

Patsy finished doleing out the drinks, and left to help start the cricket match.

The nuns peacefully watched the end of the sack race, and the start of the cricket.

"Mum!" Tim ran up, to face a row of nuns with their fingers over the mouths making a 'sush' sound.

"Sorry –" Tim stage whispered. "Dad said I could ask Mum for 10 pence for the tombola."

"Timmy?" Shelagh awoke, a little groggily.

"Mum can I have 10 pence?"

"Have a look in my purse" She handed Tim her handbag, as she struggled to focus her eyes.

"Thanks!" he raced off.

Sitting up, a little disorientated, Shelagh immediately looked for Angela, and was relieved to find her in the arms of Sister Julienne. She smiled.

"Oh, hello Sister Mary Clarence" Shelagh said, spotting the infamous nun sitting besides sister Julienne.

"Hello." Sister Mary Clarence replied, her brow furrowing in confusion "Do I know you?"

Shelagh blushed, in her half dazed state, she had forgotten that Sister Mary Clarence probably wouldn't recognise her in her new guise. Of course the Sisters at the Mother House had been told that Sister Bernadette was leaving, but it was doubtful they had been given the full story.

Without speaking, Sister Julienne handed Angela over to her mother, sensing Shelagh could use the comfort.

"Yes, you do know me, Sister" Shelagh said, slowly. "We have met several times before"

Suddenly comprehension dawned on Sister Mary Clarence "Sister Bernadette!".

"Yes, though I answer to Shelagh now, Sister" Shelagh replied.

"Well," Sister Mary Clarence said, taking in the site of the now waking Angela, and the wedding ring on Shelagh's finger "You certainly didn't waste any time."

"Sister Mary Clarence – would you like to judge the Best Cake competition?" Sister Julienne suggested, trying to avoid the visiting nun from putting her foot in it any further.

"Me? Well, I do enjoy a good fruit loaf, I am not sure if I am qualified though"

"I, myself, would be the most qualified" Sister Monica Joan interrupted "Bu then, I do run the risk of bias toward some contestants."

"Well, go on then, why not!" The nun decided, standing up. "It's been a fair while since breakfast, I dare say I can fit in a few bites of cake."

"I think you will find the cake stall just over there, to the left of the tombola" Sister Julienne pointed.

"Excellent" Sister Mary Clarence marched off.

"Holy Father, give me patience" Sister Evangelina groaned, "She's here all week!"

20 minutes later, Mrs Waterson and her Bakewell tart had won first place, complete with certificate and small trophy.

"It was hard choice" Sister Mary Clarence lamented "That Eton Mess by Mrs Rhodes was lovely – but does one count it as a cake? It's really more of a pavlova."

"Quite" Sister Julienne said.

"Though, one things for sure" Sister Mary Clarence continued "It wasn't difficult deciding who was in last place, that Pineapple Upside Down Cake was awful. I've never tasted such an atrocity, a bit like cement mixed with lemon juice. I wonder who entered that!"

"That was me" Shelagh said tightly.

"Oh, well,…" Sister Mary Clarence had the good grace to look slightly flustered. "Well you were a nun dear, it's not as if you are natural house wife material."

The row of nuns and midwives stopped. The look on Shelagh's face could have stopped traffic. She was livid. Sister Mary Clarence began to worry that former nun was going to tear a strip off her.

Whether it was the heat, the tiredness, the insinuation that her cake could be used to build house, or the stresses and strains of the last few days, but at the last moment, Shelagh simply burst into tears, sobbing noisily into her cardigan.

"I think it best you go back to Nonnatus, unpack and rest from your journey for the rest of the afternoon" Sister Evangelina told the elder nun.

"I shall escort you myself" Sister Monica Joan joined in, rising, and grabbing Sister Mary Clarences hand, and all but frog marching her out of the park.

"There, there my dear "Sister Julienne cooed , handing Shelagh a hanky "Don't cry, you're a wonderful wife and mother"

"It's not that" Shelagh wailed "I know my family love me. She compared my cake to brick wall. All I want is to be able to get my sponge to rise or make custard without lumps. Is that too much to ask? Everyone else can do it, why can't I? Timmy has to face Xmas without a Yule log" She burst into fresh sobs.

"I think my dear, you need to go home and get some rest." Sister Julienne said kindly.

Patrick was extracted from the cricket match and sent home with his wife, where he tirelessly spent the afternoon reminding his wife about the many *talents* she did have. Tim and Angela were dispatched to Granny Parkers for the night, where they returned the next day bringing with them a near perfect Pineapple upside down cake for the family to enjoy for tea.


End file.
